Le secret d'ennuyer est celui de tout dire

Now don’t worry … my heart is still beating! (let’s hear it for small blessings! ;-)

What I need now is to “talk” about comedic heartbeat (one of our trainers/coaches keeps asking us for a beat in delivering our lines) and the fact that I came to the conclusion it’s something I have not yet mastered … not by a loooooooooooong shot!

As some might know I’ve become slightly addicted to participating in amateur musical with the (sometimes dysfunctional yet always) loving family of Amsterdam Musical. This year I have the privilege to partake in their rendition of Anything Goes. The music is quite alright (it’s not Sondheim ;-) and I thought playing a funny Chinese would be like stealing candy from a baby (though if anyone has ever met my niece, they would know that stealing candy from her is like trying to steal gold from Fort Knox, but I digress). WHAT HUBRIS!

I apparently lack a comedic heartbeat: the rhythm it takes for people to deliver a good comedy. And we don’t wantz to deliver a good comedy, we wantz to deliver a GREAT comedy!

I’ve been so focusing on the tap dancing (yeah, we tap that! *badum*tsst* ;-) that I’ve neglected the comedy. Our trainer and coaches are trying to embed the art of comedy into our very core, but it does take practice and a focus I’ve not quite been able to give (mea culpa!).

Now with just three [insert wave of panic here] rehearsals to go, I’ve got to step up! Get my head in the game (in a non-HSM kinda way)! Antennas out and just go all Red Bull Big @ss Needle Chock Full Of Adrenaline Right Through The Solar Plexus Into The Heart for the final three [insert another wave of panic here] rehearsals and find my comedic heartbeat!

I need a new wardrobe.

Actually … I don’t really need it, but I think I’m somehow ready to do something radically different? Not radically, but more color perhaps. Though it’s not like I’m not wearing any color (mind you, I am aware black and white aren’t officially colors in the spectrum, but more a lack of and a surplus of colors, scientifically speaking that is … though an artist might debate these definitions and I’m starting to babble … and stop) at all. I have sweaters that are of a certain color and I have quite the collection of T’s in different colors! But yesterday, I bought a summer dress (azure-ish), on a whim.

(For those who do not know me all that well, let me explain this extraordinary event by describing my sister’s and mother’s reaction when I told them. My sister’s eyes widened to epic proportions and my mother stopped mid-chew when they heard what I did and saw what I had bought. This all made possible by the wondrous world of Skype, seeing I’m recovering from the flu.)

And I’m even thinking about buying pants in other colors than your average jeans colors! O_o

Where did these absurd notions come from? And more importantly: how can I let them come to pass without any casualties?!

It feels like my inner preppy elitist is trying to surface (sans the pastels! I’m sooo not a pastel person) with the blouses and the sweaters and the beautifully colored pants … though I fear I will have to be careful not to start wearing combinations that would put Bozo the Clown to shame.

And what’s with this skinny pants stuff?! Not everybody has stilts to her armpits! My legs are not fit to wear anything tighter than straight jeans. Any tighter and I look like a sausage trying to escape the intestine where people had tried and barely succeeded in shoving her into. THAT is NOT a pretty sight, people! And let’s not speak of potential cam.toe! YES! THERE! I’ve said it! That’s what also happens when people try to cram themselves into pants or other lower body clothing that do NOT fit them.

*Go to your happy place … Go to your happy place … *

So … ok … this is actually me trying to figure out how to ease out of my comfort zone. Suggestions are most welcome, provided that they are withing reason. Sis was already clapping her hands and was chanting “shopping spree”, so that suggestion is already taken …

Maybe this really is just a whim and it’ll blow over come spring?

I find it increasingly difficult to wish people a happy New Year. Not that I don’t want to or I don’t want them to have a happy and great New Year, but the fact I can’t do it in person gives me a couple of options I’m not quite sure about …

1. The text bomb of wishing as many people the text message/whatsapp can manage a happy and prosperous New Year.

• My problem with this one is it just doesn’t feel personal enough for me. Not that it has to. It’s just something I don’t really feel comfortable with.

2. The “my friends should know me well enough right now not to need the text message/whatsapp to know I wish them everything that is good in the world”-stance (not to be confused with the “bah humbug!”-stance).

• Is this the easy way out? Other people who do know me well enough (and who I know well enough!) still make the effort to wish me all the best in the New Year … should I not honor them and make the same effort?

3. A personal New Year wish for everybody.

• And this is somehow not really an option in my head. I would begin with gusto and full enthusiasm, but let’s face it! After the umpteenth enthusiastic and personal message my heart just wouldn’t be in it anymore and I would just start text bombing everyone just to be rid gnawing feeling to not leave anyone out and thereby offending people.

And I’m still pondering what to do. As a result I’ve just started replying all the New Year wishes I’ve received and I must admit this is kinda working for me.

And all those who haven’t texted/whatsapped me? Well … I just assume they wish me all the best and they know I wish them the same as well. ^_^